Can't Sleep, So I Write

So many things on my mind... It doesn't want to stop thinking.

My classes are all so fascinating this year that it'll certainly be interesting. Seems like my homework is taking longer this semester as well because I'm more invested in it. I'm also amazed that simply because I'd been praised for my intelligence my whole life, I've been put into a mindset that actually hinders how I do in school. I'm hoping to change that. I'm hoping to change a lot this semester. I hope to become healthier and I hope to do better in school. I want to save up as much as possible as well, but I'm not sure that'll be all that possible.

I'm very concerned about him and his finances and I still think he's covering up a little too much about them. He's going to end up in big trouble and all because he's embarrassed of what's happened to him. I love him so much that I just can't bear for that to happen. I'm especially concerned for January when I won't be around to ask the prying questions.

I'm also worried about you. You're so quiet now that it worries me. I don't know if you hate hanging out with me or if you like it. I haven't heard from you in forever and I feel like you're ignoring me because you think I just want to use you for disney world, which I'm not

I really want to go to disney world... that would be incredible. Especially with that family. I want to do everything that they're doing and experience everything that they're going to experience. It's been my dream to go at Christmastime and I was even invited to go, which just makes it that much worse. I had to be the adult and choose education over a week in DisneyWorld at Christmastime.

I'm really sorry I missed your birthday. I tried to figure out when things were happening to hang out with you but it just didn't work out. I was actually pretty upset that I didn't get to see you the entire time that you were here. Things just seem to be a little bit awkward between me and everyone else in the apartments. I also know that you'd understand. I still feel bad that I wasn't there for your birthday. I miss you quite a bit.

Regret

The point of this blog is to rant without telling everyone and upsetting people but it is not how I wanted it to be.

Infinity and Beyond

It is true. That is how much I care about you.

Last Weekend

I miss you already. I had such an incredible time with everyone (even if I was frustrated at various points) that I just want it to continue. I miss you so much. I wish I lived with you.

Stressed

I'm stressed for the summer schedule. I don't know how I'm going to balance two jobs and trying to get down to salem every now and then. It's going to be crazy.

Birthday Excitment

I'm so incredibly excited for my birthday. I think its going to turn out amazing. I can't wait for it. You are incredible. I really do wish you would have let me pay for some of it though... And I hope you don't give my boy too much money at the sex shop... Hell, to me it would have been a good enough birthday present to just bring him there. You have done so much for me.

Presents

I never wanted to give you a hint about something I would like. I honestly want you to think about what you know about me in order to pick something out. I don't care if it's not the most amazing thing in the world, I just want to know you tried without having my help. You're too afraid of screwing up to try though so I've decided to give you a couple of hints.