Why I was mad

When you insult me at dinner, tell me I am a terrible person and then get everyone else at the table to agree, I will get upset. I don't care if it came off as joking, I know that deep down it was real. You were listing off stuff that I know has actually hurt you in the past. Then you go and child me afterwards and tell me to basically get over myself. No, that will not help. THEN you come upstairs and demand that we have a meeting, and I am as pissed as hell off at you and you just didn't get it. I was so close to tears at that point. As a matter of fact, the instant you left to get the binder I did cry a little. I just wanted it to be done. Then I tried to be nice while the meeting was going on and understand what you were trying to tell me, but you'd just yell at me everytime I'd ask a question. THAT was why I was upset that night. Not just because I had a "headache".

A place of my own

I really wish I had a place of my own. Now I have no place at your house, no place at your house, and no place where I live. I wish you all wanted me around more than this.

Friends

I wish my friends wouldn't get mad at me all the time for not hanging out with them. I have a busy life. It is nothing against you guys personally.

Observant

Sometimes I forget that I'm over observant all of the time, it takes moments like that with you to realize it all over again.

Mac Wiz

You are so incredibly funny and amazing. I have a feeling you will become one of my best friends. I love your genuine character.

Body Image

My body image has been declining by a lot in the last couple of weeks and I don't really know why.  I'm betting that it's mostly because I feel like a bad person for not going to the gym or eating healthy. I really do hope that I will start going again soon.

Maybe that feeling also has to relate to the fact that I feel that a lot of people don't like me right now. They don't dislike me either, but they at least used to like having me around.

Life

I truly live a blessed life and it's moments like these that make me realize how good I have it. I have a trust fund for college. I have a wonderful loving family. If I every truly want something, I have the means to get it myself. If I want something so incredibly bad my family will help me figure it out, and because they aren't all that financially troubled, it becomes a good possibility that I'll get it.

Thinking on that though I realize that I'm not that spoiled of a child. I work hard for what I get. I also definitely do not have the latest gadgets. I don't have a smart phone like the rest of my friends. I don't have any "touch" product. The only ipod I have is several years old. It really seems like the one thing I splurge on is clothing, and right now I don't even have enough means to justify that.

I understand that I do spend a lot of money overall, but the majority of the money I spend are for very good reasons. For college, for educational trips, for supplies for school, and for clothing.

I guess I'm in a rambling mood tonight...

Movie Premier

I really do hope you can get me into the advance screening :)

Wedding

Another wedding coming up. This one is long overdue though. I'm happy for you two, so very much so.

Games

I really do miss my family...

Warmth

When I try and fall asleep on nights when I'm most stressed I think of you. It actually helps me fall asleep, I just wished you smelled better...

Hunger Games

These books are incredible, but they are also so incredibly sad.